My “raw” journey began almost two years ago! It has been an exciting and bumpy ride indeed!
One night I just typed “raw food” in a search engine and couldn’t believe my eyes when a whole bunch of sites materialized before me. I don’t really remember what led met to this search in particular because my memory of that time is blurred. But I remember how desperate I was about finding something that will finally hit home. Something that was clear simple and complete. Something that was in the field of nutrition since I knew for a fact that “you are what you eat”! Apparently I had every reason to believe that I wasn’t doing too well up to that point. I invested a lot of time in nutrition and exercise and still managed to look and feel worse every day…something was not working and I didn’t know what!
Up to that point I was studying nutrition for the last fifteen years, three years in an institute where I got my degree in natural nutrition consultancy. I did nothing with that degree…. Instead I had a dead end job that gave me no joy at all.. worse it zapped the life force out of me. Every night I made plans that dissolved in the morning. Day in day out I got through the same motions and every day blended in the other until I barely could recall what I ate the day before…my brain was fogged.
Before I got my job I was a stay at home mom for nine years with my two beautiful children. I strongly believe that it is the best and most important “job” on earth!!
I knew in theory that I was creating my life but still I had no real energy to start and make any difference. I also realized that I had created some really huge obstacles for myself so that I would not achieve what I was really capable of. For instance I labeled myself as stupid or unattractive or even a bad mother. (The guilt I got from that was huge). Another topper was “I don’t deserve it” thing…I don’t deserve to be happy, have money, enjoy life or the big one “have a job that I really enjoy”.. many people share that one with me!
Sure enough I started to be exactly what I believed that I was or what I believed that I should have.. I had skin problems and hair loss so there was my label “unattractive” proven right. My brain fog increased to a point were I couldn’t remember important issues or had difficulty following a conversation (living in a foreign country sure contributed to the language issue) or couldn’t articulate well so there, another belief proven right! Meanwhile the outside world had other opinions that didn’t get trough to me. I was seen as attractive got compliments and nobody noticed how “stupid” I really felt! The fact that I spoke 4 languages fluently and managed every study without difficulty didn’t click home to me.. I was living in my own world and it was pretty lonely dark and cold in there. Sure I had bright moments too but they passed quickly only to leave me more desperate, searching and puzzled than before.
So there I was hitting my roadblock: divorced without a job, no family around and no friends to support me (or so I thought) and a burnout searching in the middle of the night….I read the whole night and it took me seconds to decide something that would shift my life in a totally other direction! Like with all big decisions it just takes seconds to consciously take it! That’s all!
What I learned that night hit home so hard it didn’t let me loose anymore. It was a new but so comforting and old information that it felt completely right. I didn’t know then that it had so much potential. I thought it was all about food and getting the best health possible. And that would have been more than enough…
What I got out of it is so much more. It is a whole lifestyle a portal to freedom and to deeper meanings in life. Food is not the main focus anymore. Achieving my greatest potential is. And because a healthy body is free of toxins so is the brain free of limiting thoughts. The filters through which I saw the world were cleaned out.
After a while on the diet I started to calm down. My thoughts got sorted out. Out went the restricting beliefs that held me down for years. Out went the poisons I had around me and that I could get rid of. Toxic cosmetics, detergents and so on… in came natural alternatives. I do realise that I can not be more pure than my environment and hence the wish to help clean this world too, was born.
It wasn’t an easy ride! My family couldn’t’ believe what I was saying when I announced that I was done eating cooked food. So I said it was only for a while to detoxify a bit. I was a challenge to family and friends…
So I ate my salads, nuts and seeds an lots of fruits and felt a sense of well being almost from the start. I made recipes that looked and tasted delicious even to others.
Started to sleep less and feel lighter. I also shed a few kg not much since I was never overweight but enough to send my family and friends into an alarmed state.
I was really thin indeed but I trusted my body completely and sure enough after a few month I gained the weight back. All it did was throwing waste out and rebuilding new cells. I also went into a healing crisis after 3 month on the raw diet. I got a fever and a heavy cold. I didn’t have a fever for years and was so exited that I could actually get fever as I understood that it takes a lot of energy to generate a fever so the body has to have enough around.
Sure I had cravings and indulged here and there but tried not to beat myself up about it and make the better choices. If I craved potatoes I got sweet potatoes which are more nutritious and mineralized. If I craved sweets I choose pure dairy free chocolate. If I craved bread (and I still battle this one to this day) then I just have rice, quinoa or other grains. For cheese I still have to find a good substitute…I know that cravings are the cry of old cells and bad bacteria...
I do recognize now that it is OK to fall off the wagon as long as I get right back on it. Usually the next day I would fast or eat very lightly.
What threw me most out of balance a few month into the diet, was the contradicting information about the raw food diet. I discovered the forums and discussion boards and spent hours plowing through hundreds of posts each contradicting the other. People were pointing fingers at each other. It had an impact on me and I had difficulty making my own mind up and bringing order in the chaos of information.
The so called health food gurus were no better. Each had his or her own opinion in what was healthy to eat or not. Each with their own program and supplements that they sell.
Finally it took me a few month to realize that no one had a formula that works for all and that I should turn back to nature as my guru or listen to the people who had nature as a teacher too. Besides looking at the person and listening to what he or she has to say, can help a lot in deciding if I should pay attention or not. The question I ask myself is wheter I want to look, glow and be like that person. If the answer is no I probably do not do anything they recommend!
Now I know who is who in the raw food world and I found some people who inspire me the most.
So what shifted for me on raw?
Mentally I am in another dimension. Spirituality was just something that others “had”! On raw I opened up to ideas and concepts that seemed far fetched or ridiculous before. Now I realize that Yoga, meditation and so many other alternative practices do really work and work better on “raw” people.! I am opening up to the spirit world and starting to trust the notion that there are helpers and guides that can’t wait to help us. I am more aware than ever that I am creating my life and every experience in my life for a good reason. I know that in time I will manifest exactly what I want in my life and also quicker. It will not take years to happen. I am more balanced and peaceful than ever. Whatever negative thing is happening to me I can easily set aside. Now people ask me how I manage to not go “crazy” because this or that situation. I realize that I have a choice on how I perceive the situation that I can not change. No job? No problem it is a fine opportunity to study something I am really interested in. No money (well that’s a bit more challenging)? I get creative with what I got. The list is endless. If I drift off to older behaviours and do get upset I realize it and can change it in the moment by thinking something happy. I got a huge load of “happy thoughts” to do the trick.
I do realize that there is perfection in everything and in every situation. I am working on manifesting good things. Attracting people and events in my life that I need in order to move forward and I notice that the Universe is helping me. It always has but I didn’t notice then! For instance when I had a burning question I got the answer through a TV program. Exactly what I needed to know. Or when I felt down I got a sudden memory that lifted me right out. Or the information that I need is presented to me at the right moment in different forms like something somebody is saying or opening a book to the information I need! There is a lot going on………………
Physically I realize that I have been through a lot. I believe I didn’t have the best start in life. I was born in Romania and was breastfed only a couple of month until some powdered cow milk took over. I ate apples and cottage cheese. Cookies and milk. Meat and a lot of sugar and white bread. The only highlight would be the absence of chemicals in my food to some degree. We had a garden with fresh vegetables some fruits and also an old walnut tree. Most food came fresh from the market and was not chemically treated as far as I know but most was over cooked. Winter times were devoid of fruits and we ate almost everything cooked and had synthetic supplements. My first birthday I spent in the hospital where I stayed tree month on heavy medication. I had contacted an early stage TBC from a neighbor and would have died if I would have been born a few years before, since they didn’t have the right medication then. In that hospital I probably learned what being terrified is and maybe also that the world is not a happy place. I heard children screaming was physically hurt several times (they put a tube down my throat into my lungs without any anesthesia) and I had to spend the nights alone screaming for my mother who was not allowed to stay every night. I wonder what that does with a baby.
Maybe the greatest gift I had for myself on the raw diet, was to love myself again as I did when I was a child. I am more patient and gentle with my body and also in awe at this miraculous vehicle that I choose to live in. Every discomfort every ache is telling something and I try to listen. I can not tell exactly what is going on inside but in time I will. For now I have to limit myself to incomplete blood test and the look in the mirror. My blood test was perfect except B12 levels that were very low (I took care of that). So far my hair has started to grow thicker. My skin improved tremendously. I “lost” 2 wrinkles above my nose. I look (so I am told) much younger than my age. I do not judge others anymore as I do not judge myself.
In time there will be bigger changes. There are tremendous benefits on this diet. Everything physical or not that was holding me down will go away in time. It’s still to soon now. I can not erase years of abuse, including smoking and drinking and the genetic damage I was born with, in just 2 years but this diet will set me up to health happiness and agelessness…..that of I’m sure. And if not (ha, ha) I sure will be able to handle whatever life has in store for me a lot better…
So how can I keep this for myself when this is the most powerful lifestyle on earth so far.
A lifestyle that has the ability to shift the whole consciousness of humankind in another direction? Away from destruction, burning, killing, trashing and depleting?